Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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