my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
