if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
True college students do jello shots in the library
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
