Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize