I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
