Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
