I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize