I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
