I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
