i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
