So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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