Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
