Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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