If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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