i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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