Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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