so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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