Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
