I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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