i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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