No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he puts the penis in happiness.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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