i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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