the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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