Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
