Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
