The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Semen is not good for contacts.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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