I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
should my penis look like a turkey
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
