I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
