He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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