She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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