i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
