anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
