is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
