Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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