Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
