so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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