tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
