im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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