I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
