Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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