I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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