i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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