oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
