God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
