How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
