So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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