Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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