Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
