This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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