Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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