i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
