Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
