i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
