I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
MIDGETS
????
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
