There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
