Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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