I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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