Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
