4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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