Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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