Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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