get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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