so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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