I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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