i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
