took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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