i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
