Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I did not marry a roomba.
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