so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
