singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
