Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
