you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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